Engage

It isn?t easy when anxiety attacks but you are not alone?

I knew what was coming next as soon as I heard the beat echoing inside my chest, each beat faster than the next. My heart raced as I tried to remember to exhale. A knot formed in my stomach as if it knew I needed something to hold on to, shallow breath after shallow breath. The dreaded domino effect in my body was a familiar yet unwelcome guest. Here was Anxiety trying to take over again. It seems like the more I fought her, the stronger she would get. My attention kept fueling her until I realized that Peace, the guest I did want to entertain, had already left.

A High Fever

Anxiety is a topic I have hesitated writing about. I am not a mental health professional. I am not qualified to give advice on these matters. But I am a person with an experience, and I am qualified to share my story. For me, anxiety has been like a fever?a symptom that shows up to tell me something somewhere needs attention. At times, the symptom, like a high fever, needs direct help to get through the situation, but other times, just knowing ?this too shall pass? has been enough to allow me to sit in the discomfort and wait for God to comfort me. Time and time again, He has brought light and healing to these areas of my heart that felt isolated from Him.

The first time I felt His healing hand soothe my fears away, I thought I was healed; I thought I would never have to experience that sense of dread again. So, when it happened again, I was confused. Did I do something to make Him take His favor back? Did I fail to pass the test? No? There is just much more that needs to be healed. Each time I experience anxiety becomes an opportunity for me to call on God to help me. Each time, I invite Jesus to rule in my heart and bring me His Peace.

One Big Lie

On one of those occasions, I learned how the enemy of my soul was using my fears against me. Every time I got close to identifying a pattern of sin in my life, the fears would sneak in. The fear was so crippling I could not even hear with my mind the lie that I was choosing to believe in. It felt like an automatic reaction until I became still instead of running away. I remembered the prophecy of Simeon to Our Lady: ??and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed? (Luke 2:35). Through Mary, I asked Jesus to reveal to me the thoughts of my own heart.

The wind started to blow, and, in my mind, I saw huge idols made of sand start to dissipate, one by one. Each lie was made of nothing, and against God?s truth, could not stand. But what did I find on the other side? Not happiness, but a deep pain in my heart. I came upon my sin, a deep-rooted tree that had remained hidden but had bad fruit popping up all over my life. Things that seemed disconnected all converged in this one big lie: ?God does not see you; You are alone in this life.?

The sight of all the sin that had emerged from this one lie caused pain, but there was no fear. The grace of repentance poured in with each tear??where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more? (Romans 5:20). Scripture after scripture filled my mind as the Spirit interceded for me, and Truth filled my heart. I felt seen. I felt loved. I knew I was and would never be alone.

Like I said at the beginning, I am not a mental health expert, so I do not know what you need to help you confront your fears. But I do know God loves each and every one of us. This encounter with God?s love healed something else in me. One of the most crippling aspects of anxiety is when we fear the anxiety itself. The experience is so unsettling and uncomfortable that we do everything possible to avoid going through it again. But I know now there is nothing to fear, for it is in our darkest moments that the light will shine the brightest. He has conquered death. His love is greater than our fears.

?In all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth,?nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord? (Romans 8:37-39).

Before you fly away from your humdrum life into another romantic vampire story, consider this…

As such, you can imagine that I am very fond of romance. A lot of us are. I am also single. Not being a hideous goblin (no girl is), I could get a boyfriend easily enough. The question is: what are my standards?

I am a soldier of Christ and willing to fight to defend the truth. An important part of this truth is Christian marriage and sexuality. This topic is scorned by society at large, hence my lack of male companionship. If I am going to date, my minimum requirement is respect for my faith and boundaries. This is hard to find, but I?m not lowering my standards. I?ll tell you why.

Shocking Truth!

Forgive my bluntness. Girls my age are turned into easily- accessible entertainment for any male with eyes. In the name of empowerment, women are told to ?dress how they want?. Translation: dress in the way those creepy guys on the street like. Virginity is a shameful secret. Any who dare suggest a sense of the sacred around women, marriage, or sex are evil misogynists. Poor female minors, enslaved by self-respect and safety.

One useful tool for turning women into commodities, products, or slaves is young adult fiction. Every time I open a YA book, I see this:

?McKayla is just an ordinary, plain girl with flawless skin and hair. Except she has a dark, mysterious past. ~insert stereotype. Evil or negligent parents are preferable.~ Then she meets… Brad. He?s dark, brooding, and impossibly hot (of course). What will happen, and will their mysterious connection win out against all odds?!?

Next, you get to watch McKayla describe Brad in agonizing detail every three pages. She inevitably gets mixed up with him. He?s an assassin, a vampire, or preferably both. McKayla gets sucked into a dangerous relationship. Vampire cults are encouraged. Brad will attack her, pressure her, and attempt a seduction. He will go through periods of cruelty, the silent treatment, and possessiveness, interspersed with passionate statements about his love for her. Because of this passion, our heroine will gladly cut out every healthy influence in her life, following her ?true love? like a lamb to the slaughter.

Something about this feels just the tiniest bit off, doesn?t it? No? Is it only me who thinks it?s a romanticization of abuse?

Alas, I am not exaggerating or joking. Here?s a paraphrase of a random page from a teen novel I picked up: ?I couldn?t quite forget that he had tried to stab me with a knife ten minutes ago, but I couldn?t take my eyes off how hot Jason looked in those white jeans. His hair was… his muscles were…? Etc., etc., etc., another uncomfortably detailed ogling of our darling attempted murderer.

I started the next book at the beginning. Page one was from the perspective of a male vampire prostitute. A girl comes and gives him money. She bares her throat for him to bite. He begins rubbing her thighs and pretending to groan in excitement. I close the book.

Finally, in a very popular YA novel, the male lead breaks into the girl?s house and watches her sleep. Oh, how romantic!

No Compromise

?Books like this groom young women to be the slaves and tools of evil men. Nothing is sadder than a young girl staying with a man who abuses her because he ?loves? her. She thinks she can change him, or worse, sees nothing wrong at all. In a way, these men really are vampires. They will drain a girl of her self-respect, her virginity, and anything else they convince her to fork over. They leave their victims sucked dry in the dust.

Where does this start? What makes women believe the lies? The shameless and evil romanticism attached to abuse, seen in the media, in movies, in the teen section of the most innocent public library. There isn?t even any bad logic in it, just malice.

Marriage and sexuality are created by God and built on love. Love is built on respect, self-sacrifice, and honesty. Marriage is a union of equals, not a predator-prey relationship. Here?s a hint: this should be obvious.

Still not convinced of the damage this attitude causes? Well, no hard feelings. I mean, I?m just a teenager watching this happen. Who can we ask about this? Hey, what about Mom and Grandma? They?re pretty experienced… oh wait. Everyone knows that no one born before the 2000?s can have anything useful to say on this (or any) topic. Of course today?s youth know better than to honour their father and mother. My bad.

Alright, No more complaining. This shouldn?t be all problems and no solutions. We can still make progress in the right direction. The world might be dark, but luckily for us, the light of Christ is easier to see in the dark anyway. We, as Christians, need to fight for the concept of true love. It still exists. My parents show it. When you see an eighty-year-old couple still holding hands, remember. When you go to a wedding, remember. When you see a couple choosing children over wealth, remember. And hey, girls like me?Christian teenagers who just can?t seem to find a partner who will respect you! Don?t give up. Don?t settle for a dark, brooding guy who?ll suck you dry. Look for true love, cheesy as it might seem. It?s real. We have it every Sunday in the Eucharist. We deserve this self-respect. We deserve a partner willing to honor Christ and see Christ in us. It will be worth it.

And quit reading those vampire novels.

I like to watch old movies. Over the past several months, I?ve watched (or re-visited) a number of?Alfred Hitchcock?thrillers, some screwball comedies from the thirties and forties, and a couple of film-noir classics. Last week, over the course of three evenings, I managed to get through the three hours and forty minutes (yes, you read that correctly) of?the Charlton Heston version of the?Ten Commandments?from 1956. With delight, I took in the still marvelous technicolor, the over-the-top costumes, the wonderfully corny faux-Shakespearean dialogue, and the hammy acting that is, one might say, so bad that it?s good. But what especially struck me was the sheer?length?of the film. Knowing that it required a rather extraordinary act of attention on the part of its audience, it is astonishing to remember that it was wildly popular, easily the most successful movie of its time. It is estimated that, adjusted for inflation, it earned a box office of roughly two billion dollars. Would moviegoers today, I wondered, ever be able to muster the patience required to make a film like the?Ten Commandments?equally popular today? I think the question answers itself.

The coming together of daunting length and popularity then put me in mind of a number of other examples of this combination from cultural history. In the nineteenth-century, the novels of?Charles Dickens?were so sought after that ordinary Londoners waited in long lines for chapters as they were published in serial form. And let?s face it: not a lot?happens?in Dickens novels, by which I mean very few things blow up; there are no alien invasions; no snappy one-liners uttered by the heroes before they blow away the bad guys. For the most part, they consist of lengthy conversations among fascinating and quirky characters. Much the same can be said of the novels and stories of?Dostoevsky. Though there is indeed a murder and a police investigation at the heart of the plot of?The Brothers Karamazov, for the vast majority of that famous novel, Dostoevsky arranges various characters in drawing rooms for pages and pages and pages of dialogue on matters political, cultural, and religious. During that same period, Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas engaged in a series of debates on the vexed issue of slavery in America. They spoke for?hours?at a time?and in an intellectually elevated manner. If you doubt me, look up the texts online. Their audiences were not cultural elites or students of political philosophy, but rather ordinary Illinois farmers, who stood in the mud, gave their full attention, and strained to hear the orators? unamplified voices. Could you even begin to imagine an American crowd today willing to stand for a comparable length of time and listen to complex presentations on public policy?and for that matter, could you imagine any American politician willing or able to speak at Lincolnian length and depth? Once again, the questions answer themselves.

Why this look back at modes and styles of communication from another age? Because by contrast ours seem so impoverished! I certainly understand the value of social media and I readily use them in my evangelical work, but at the same time, I am acutely aware of how they have lessened our attention span and capacity for sophisticated conversation and real advance toward the truth. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and especially Twitter specialize in flashy headlines, misleading titles, simplistic characterizations of an opponent?s position, sound bites in place of arguments, and mean-spirited rhetoric. Just dip into the comment boxes on any of these sites, and you?ll immediately see what I mean.

A favorite technique on social media is to take a phrase or even a single word of a person?s argument, wrench it out of context, give it the worst possible interpretation, and then splash one?s outrage all over the internet. Everything has to be fast, easily digested, simple to understand, black and white?because we have to get clicks on our site, and it?s a dog-eat-dog world. What worries me is that an entire generation has come of age conditioned by this mode of communication and hence is largely incapable of summoning the patience and attention required for intelligent engagement of complex issues. I noticed this, by the way, in my nearly twenty years of teaching in the seminary. Over those two decades, it became increasingly difficult to get my students to read, say, a hundred pages of St. Augustine?s?Confessions?or of?Plato?s?Republic. Especially in more recent years, they would say, ?Father, I just can?t concentrate that long.? Well, the auditors of the Lincoln-Douglas debates could, and so could the readers of Dickens, and so even could those who sat through?The Ten Commandments?sixty-some years ago.

So as not to end on a down note, permit me to draw your attention to what I consider a real sign of hope. In just the last couple of years, there has been a trend in the direction of long-form podcasts that are attracting huge audiences of young people.?Joe Rogan, who hosts one of the most popular shows in the country, speaks to his guests for upwards of three hours, and he gets millions of views. In the past year,?I have appeared?on two podcasts with?Jordan Peterson, each one in excess of two hours and featuring pretty high-level discourse and both has reached just shy of one million views.

Perhaps we?re turning a corner. Perhaps young people have tired of vituperative sound bites and superficial pseudo-intellectualism. To encourage this trend, I would like to invite all of you to use much less social media?and maybe pick up?The Brothers Karamazov.

When you toss and turn sleeplessly, have you ever felt God saying, ?We need to talk and now you have time??

On one of my pastoral visits to a local elementary school, a young grade 5 girl said to me that she was told by an adult in her life that, with respect to this pandemic, ?God is taking a vacation?. Although there is something hopeful in the claim?in so far as vacations come to an end and the vacationer returns and takes care of outstanding business?I certainly would not frame it like that. It is a rather dangerous claim to make, for God does not leave us alone even for an instant. In fact, we have God?s undivided attention at every instant of our existence, and children above all need to understand that. It is not possible for a limited human being to give undivided attention to more than one person at the same time, but God can give everyone His undivided attention simultaneously, because God is unlimited.

A Pure Gift

It is remarkable to consider what it means that we have God?s undivided attention at every instant of our existence; for it means He loves each one of us as if there is only one of us, that is, as if you are the only one for Him to love. It is as if everything in the universe was created ultimately for you alone, that all this exists to sustain and serve you?the atmosphere of the planet, the law of gravity and all the other laws of physics, the cycles and the order of nature, etc. In fact, if you or I really knew how much God loves us, we would die of joy. And this life is precisely about learning to be loved like that.

That means allowing ourselves to be loved like that, for we tend not to allow that for ourselves because we have a very uncompromising and narrow sense of justice for ourselves and thus don?t see ourselves as deserving of that love, so we choose not to open ourselves to it. But His love for us is not a matter of justice; of course, no one deserves to be loved like that; for one cannot earn the right to be brought into being if one does not exist. And so although His love for me is not a matter of justice, it is a matter of pure gift. After all, God?s justice has been revealed, in the Person of Christ, as absolute mercy.

There is a relationship between that Divine love and how we understand ourselves. A person only really knows himself to the degree that he knows how much he is loved by God, and so the more we allow ourselves to ?be loved like that? (as if there is only one of us), the deeper will be our own self-understanding; for we will begin to see ourselves as He sees us. If we don?t see ourselves through His eyes, that is, as He sees us, then we are left to see ourselves as we are seen by others.

The problem with this, however, is that others rarely if ever see us as we really are?especially if those in our lives do not look at us through God?s eyes?and if they don?t see us as we really are, they do not love us as we ought to be loved. When the world looks at you, it does not see an inexhaustible mystery; rather, it sees an object, something to be valued according to its utility. But there is nothing mysterious about tools. On the other hand, when God sees you, He sees a genuine mystery, because each human person has been created in the image and likeness of God and God is the unutterable mystery. Hence, each human person is an inexhaustible mystery whose secret lies hidden within the depths of the inexhaustible mystery of God.

The Universe Within

?We have two interiors: 1) a physical interior, and a 2) spiritual interior. A surgeon has access to the physical interior, but that does not give him access to the spiritual interior. Only you and God can access your spiritual interior. In fact, God dwells always in the deepest region of that interior. The way to begin to come to awareness that you are known by God is to enter into that ?universe within?. That is what it means to place ourselves in the presence of God. Few words are necessary within that space; it is enough to simply repeat over and over: ?Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner?.

The more time we spend within that space, without distraction, the more we will come to sense that we are being watched, that we have someone?s attention. That is a very positive and enlightening experience; for we begin to see ourselves as someone worthy of attention. We begin to see ourselves as persons, rather than mere individuals. But it begins with entering into the ?universe within?, and that experience makes all the difference in the world, because most of us for most of our lives have been reduced to objects, but we know ourselves to be ?subjects??persons of intrinsic worth. This ?objectification? is in many ways the source of a great deal of personal anger and feelings of alienation, but as we spend more time within that interior where the Lord awaits us, the less alienated we will begin to feel and the more peaceful our life becomes.

A Special Interview with renowned exorcist Father Elias Vella OFM, from the Archdiocese of Malta, who shares his incredible ministerial journey

As an exorcist for the Diocese of Malta and at healing and deliverance retreats all over the world, I have been blessed to witness the healing and deliverance of many souls from demonic possession, oppression and temptation.

I come from a small Catholic country, the Island of Malta in the Mediterranean Sea. As a Theology lecturer in the seminary for 24 years, I did not always believe in the existence of the Devil because I was influenced by Dutch and German theologians who doubted the reality of Satan. However, when I became involved in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, people began to come to me with problems that were connected with the occult, satanism and the Devil. I didn?t know what to do. I could see it wasn?t all in their mind and I wanted to help them, so I went to the bishop and asked if I should send them to him. He told me to go and study the issue and discern what God was calling me to do. The more I examined the issue, the more I could see the workings of the Devil and I no longer doubted. I was interested, not for myself, but because people were in need, so the Bishop asked me to become the exorcist for the diocese.

Possession is when a demon takes control of someone, so that they are no longer free to think for themselves. Their will, emotions and intelligence become subject to demonic influence. However, a demon cannot take over the soul and cannot force someone to sin because you can only sin if you are free to do as you will, you know what you are doing and you want to do it. During an exorcism, a person can make sinful gestures, for example call out blasphemies or break a rosary, but these are not sins because the person is not in control of their body.

In an exorcism, the exorcist (who is a specially trained priest) orders the demon to leave the body of the person in the name of God and by the power of the Church. It is often a struggle because the demon does not want to leave the body where he has made a home, but God is more powerful than the Devil, so he must leave in the end. Not all demonic attacks involve possession.

Although, I have personally encountered many cases of demonic possession requiring exorcism, this is because I am an exorcist, so they come to me. It is actually very rare. Many people who think they need exorcism do not. They need other spiritual, psychological and physical help. Although I often visit other countries, I can only perform an exorcism outside my diocese with the permission of the local bishop. If I don?t have that, then I can pray a deliverance prayer, but not the exorcism liturgy. Every exorcism is unique. The Devil is intelligent and cunning, so varies his techniques to elude and deceive us.

These are a couple of the people that have been successfully delivered from possession during an exorcism.

During a healing Mass in the Czech Republic, I invited the congregation to wash their faces with holy water to remind them of their need for purification. After washing her face, this girl took a crucifix and started to beat me with it. I couldn?t respond violently, but when others had restrained her, we offered her an exorcism. It was very difficult because her father had consecrated her to the Devil in a satanic ceremony where she was smeared with the blood of animals.

In Brazil, a fragile 16-year-old girl went into a trance during the Mass. When we prayed over her, she became so violent that she could break a chair with no effort and a strong man couldn?t hold her. Her possession had begun with superstitious use of idols, but despite the difficulty, she was able to be delivered with the aid of Our Lord in the Eucharist.

We are all tempted or oppressed. Even Our Lord and Our Lady were tempted many times not to do the will of the Father, but did not succumb. Oppression is when the Devil targets our weak spots with an attack. It is not the same as possession. Often, someone who is spiritually attacked also suffers from psychological problems. It isn?t always easy to understand what originates from a spiritual problem and what is a psychological problem.

Often, it needs a multi-pronged response. Prayer, grace from the sacraments, therapy and appropriate medical help may all be needed to fully recover. I pray for both healing and deliverance. The sacraments are the most powerful weapons against the Devil?s attacks. The Devil fears the sacraments, particularly the Sacrament of Penance because it directly confronts sin and the temptation to sin. When penitents acknowledge and renounce their sins, and ask for forgiveness from a loving God, they are rejecting the deceptions of the Devil who tries to entice us into thinking that our sins are not wrong; or that we don?t need forgiveness; or that God does not love us; or that He would not mercifully forgive us. Receiving absolution delivers a fatal blow to the Devil?s hold over us. This is why we must not neglect regular Confession.

The Eucharist is a powerful weapon against the Devil because Our Lord is giving Himself to us in humility and love. These are two things that Devil make the devil suffer. He is the opposite, full of pride and hate. Because Satan has an insatiable desire for power, he will never understand how God could offer Himself to us. Therefore, when we receive Our Lord in the Eucharist, or adore Him in front of the Eucharist, the Devil flees, because He cannot bear it and wants to escape. So, when there is no exorcist to help people who are disturbed, they should seek the presence of the Lord in the Eucharist.

Protection Prayer

Lord God almighty, grant me Your grace by the merits of the passion, death and resurrection of Your beloved Son, Jesus Christ.? I accept Him as my Lord and Savior. Protect me, my family, and all the surroundings I live in, by the Precious Blood of Jesus.? I renounce and bind all the evil influences that disturb me, by the powerful name of Jesus and by the power of His Precious Blood and chain them at the foot of the Cross. Amen.

Q ?I know that we are supposed to have a devotion to Mary, but sometimes I feel like it distracts me from my relationship with Jesus. I just don?t feel very close to Mary. How can I have a deeper devotion to Our Lady without taking away from my love for Jesus?

A ? In my own life, I struggled with that very question. I grew up in an area of the United States that was mostly Protestant, and none of my Protestant friends ever had a devotion to Mary. One time when I was a teenager, I got into a conversation with someone in a checkout line in Wal-Mart, and when she found out I was studying to become a priest, she asked me why Catholics worship Mary!

Of course, Catholics don?t worship Mary. God alone is worthy of worship. Rather, we honor Mary with the highest honor. Since she was closest to Jesus on earth, she is closest to Jesus in Heaven. She was the perfect follower of Jesus, so imitating her will help us to follow Jesus more faithfully. We ask her to pray for us, just as we might ask our own parents or a friend or a priest to pray for us?and Mary?s prayers are far more effective, for she is far closer to Christ!

To grow in a healthy devotion to Mary, I recommend three things.

First, pray the Rosary daily. Pope John Paul II said that the Rosary is ?looking at the life of Jesus through the eyes of Mary.? It is a Christ-centered prayer, loving Him through the Heart that loved Him best (the Immaculate Heart). The Rosary changed my life?I took it on as a Lenten penance when I was a teen?and I dreaded it every day. To me, it seemed so boring?all those repetitive prayers. But once Lent was over, I found that I couldn?t put it down. The repetition was no longer boring but calming. I imagined myself in the scenes of Christ?s life and encountered Him there.

Second, consecrate yourself to Mary. Saint Louis de Montfort has a rich 33-day consecration to Mary, or you can use the more recent ?33 Days to Morning Glory? consecration program. When we offer Mary our lives, she cleanses and purifies us, and then presents our lives beautifully to Her Son.

This is how Saint Louis answers your question in True Devotion to Mary: With Preparation for Total Consecration: ?If then, we establish solid devotion to our Blessed Lady, it is only to establish more perfectly devotion to Jesus Christ, and to provide an easy and secure means for finding Jesus Christ. If devotion to Our Lady removed us from Jesus Christ, we should have to reject it as an illusion of the devil; but so far from this being the case, devotion to Our Lady is, on the contrary, necessary for us?as a means of finding Jesus Christ perfectly, of loving Him tenderly, of serving Him faithfully.?

Finally, turn to Mary in your daily needs. One time I was leading a wedding rehearsal for a very holy couple when we realized, to our horror, that they had forgotten the marriage license! I couldn?t marry them without the civil license, but it was too late to get it before the wedding the following day. I brought the bride and groom into the sacristy and broke the news to them?I couldn?t marry them unless a miracle happened. They were devastated! So, we prayed to Our Lady, who herself was married and who has a special love for engaged couples. We entrusted this problem to Her?and She performed a miracle! A parishioner happened to know a town clerk who came in early on her day off to give them a marriage license and the marriage took place as planned. She is a mother?we should bring our Mother all our problems and concerns!

Never forget?true devotion to Mary doesn?t lead us away from Jesus, it leads us to Jesus through Mary. We can never honor Mary too much because we can never honor her more than Jesus honors her. Come to Mary?and trust that She will lead you to her Son.

We slide into our pew with one minute to spare, and I have a feeling that Mass is going to be a struggle for our family. By the time the priest finishes reading the Gospel, I?m frazzled and overwhelmed. Then during the Creed?as I am stifling down the urge to shout, ?We are not taking any more trips to the bathroom!??my busy three-year old licks the pew while my seven-year old tells me he is thirsty again and asks what con-sub- stan-tial means. Going to Mass is not always easy. I feel discouraged and even ashamed for not paying better attention at Mass. How am I supposed to worship God while juggling the many demands on my attention? The answer: a heart of simplicity.

I used to think the phrase ?active participation at Mass? meant absorbing the deep meaning of every single word I hear. But in this season of life, having focus is a luxury. Now as I raise my children, I begin to understand that God does not hold back His invitation or His Presence just because my life gets messy. He loves me and accepts me as I am?mess and all?even amidst the chaos of a hectic Mass experience. If we remember this, you and I can take simple steps to prepare our hearts for God?s supreme gift of Love in the Eucharist.

Discover a Short Phrase

I am often overwhelmed by the number of words I hear at each Mass. My attention falters, and I struggle to follow many of the spoken parts. If you navigate this challenge too, know that you and I are still called to listen and be engaged at Mass. How? Simplify. Listen for a short phrase that catches your attention. Reflect on it. Repeat it. Bring it to Jesus and ask Him to show you why it is important. Hold this phrase in your heart throughout the Mass and let it become an anchor for your attention while you attend to your family responsibilities. Your open heart is a landscape for Christ?s grace.

Gaze With Love

Love does not always need words. Sometimes a simple glance can communicate an ocean of love. If words wash over you, engage your heart and direct your love to the Lord by focusing your eyes on a Crucifix or a Station of the Cross. Reflect on the details you see: Christ?s face, His crown of thorns, His bleeding heart. Each detail you intentionally take in draws your heart closer to Jesus and prepares you to receive Our Lord?s immense gift of Love in the Eucharist.

Bring Your Heart

If all else fails, bring yourself to Jesus as an offering of love. The Lord knows your intentions and your true desires. If you feel frazzled and unfocused by things beyond your control, you can still come before the Lord with a heart willing to worship Him, to receive Him and to love Him. Stir the affections of your heart and repeat ?Here I am Lord. I choose you. Transform my heart!?

Our Lord rejoices every time we encounter Him at Mass, regardless of our circumstances. Jesus was human?He got tired, He got interrupted. Our Lord understands the mess of life! And even in the midst of it, He wants to give Himself to you in the Eucharist. So next time you go to Mass, give Jesus your willing heart, your ?yes? to come before Him as you are. Christ?s love is bigger than whatever family chaos is happening in your pew.

They happen every day but we seldom notice?

I want to tell you two stories of grace, wonderful grace that came just when I needed it, in fact, just when I asked for it. I think these experiences of grace were miraculous, and before I share them with you I?d like to reflect a bit on miracles.

People will tell you that miracles don?t come on demand? and they are right. Miracles don?t come on demand. But Jesus tells us to ask, and promises that if we ask, we will receive (Matthew 7:7). I firmly believe that when we ask, God hears us and gives us what we truly need.

We need to acknowledge that miracles are a mystery that transcends human understanding. We get glimpses, we have intuitions, but we can never fully understand or explain the workings of God?s grace manifested as ?miracles.?

?I Got Nothing!

Many scoff at the notion that ?if we ask? we will ?receive.? ?I asked and got nothing,? some will say. That adds to the mystery. Jesus was a miracle worker, but He didn?t heal everyone in Israel. Millions go to Lourdes, but few miracles are documented. Can we say that people don?t ask ?right? or don?t really need what they ask for? No! Only God reads the heart; we cannot judge.

But my experience and that of many others confirms that Jesus spoke the truth when He told us to ask and expect a response from God our Father. So, I believe in miracles, which are simply manifestations of God?s grace? sometimes in dramatic fashion and sometimes not so much, sometimes so obvious that anyone can recognize them and other times so subtle and disguised as ?a coincidence? that only eyes of faith can perceive them.

Miracles should be expected?like children expect their mothers to feed them when they are hungry. But kids can?t control the menu. Mom decides the menu otherwise kids would eat mac and cheese every night. Moms never tire of feeding their children. Similarly with God. He never tires of our requests and like our moms He gives us what we need and not the junk food we want.

Miracles are not God performing tricks so we can brag, ?Look what God did for me!? God?s miracles answer the deep longings of our hearts reminding us to always rely on Him. When God grants us miracles, He uses them to point to the grace that is all around us in life?s ordinary moments?each day?s sunrise, a hand extended in apology, a hug of forgiveness, an act of selflessness. Only if we recognize life?s ordinary miracles can we expect to see the extraordinary ones.

Miracles build faith, they don?t replace it. When we are constantly seeing miracles, we don?t need much faith. But when God is silent and obvious blessings are removed, we have an opportunity to live our faith more deeply. That?s why we may see more miracles when we are new in the faith than when we have matured.

Story One

Years ago, my wife Nancy and I taught in a summer Ministry Institute at a large Catholic urban university. Each summer we put on a show of dance and drama which we wrote and rehearsed during the six weeks of the Institute. Our performers were Institute students who came from all over the country and all over the world. After five years of creating these moving and exciting programs we were well-known and respected by Institute students and faculty alike. We cherished this amazing opportunity to impact ministry professionals from all over the world as they learned from us how to use the performing arts as a powerful resource for ministry and education.

But prior to our sixth summer we were told we would not be directing our summer production any longer and were invited instead to teach a course. We accepted, and taught our class, contributed artistically to liturgies, and tried to be as ?present? as we could, but it just wasn?t the same. We missed the work, the interaction, the creativity, and the unique contribution we had made each of the previous five summers.

Walking across the campus one day I found myself feeling dispirited about our diminished role. I entered a university building from the south end lamenting to the Lord that I needed some evidence that our presence mattered, that we still made a difference. I walked through the building atrium and by the time I exited the north of the building my prayer was answered. Standing at the top of a long set of steps I saw a car suddenly stop on the street below. With the engine running, the driver jumped out and called my name.

?Oh, Graz,? she said, ?I?m so glad to see you. I wanted to tell you how glad I am that you are here at the Institute. You and Nancy make such a difference, it just wouldn?t be the same without you. Thank you for everything you do.? And with that, she hopped back into her car and drove off. ?Wow, Lord,? I thought, ?that was fast!?

Story Two

?Flash forward a dozen years. I am the director of an Archdiocesan office in Chicago. I am having a hard week, feeling discouraged, not sure whether I am doing what God wants me to be doing. I am in the kitchen of our office building, washing my lunch dishes and I pray, ?Lord, You used to give me little signs that You were taking care of me, that I was doing Your will?I need one of those signs now.?

The next morning, still despondent, I decide to skip work. It?s summer, the kids are off school, so I announce: ?Dad?s playing hooky today. Who wants to go to a Cubs game?? I don?t even know if the Chicago Cubs are in town, but we check and they are, and off we go.

We drop the kids off at one of the gates to stand in line for tickets and head off to park. Parking is always a challenge at Wrigley Field. Either you park very far away and walk, or you pay a fortune in a parking lot. Neither option is realistic?we?re running too late for a long walk and paying an exorbitant parking lot fee would destroy my budget. I make the ridiculous choice to look for street parking.

Impossibly, directly in front of the entry gate there?s a spot at a parking meter. For two dollars I will get a maximum of two hours, which means I will have to leave the park, feed the meter, and return to the game (I don?t realize that leaving and returning is not allowed). As I exit my car, I see a woman on the opposite side of the street getting ready to pull out of her parking spot. That side has no meters! I run to her, explain my situation and ask if she will wait until I pull out so I can take her spot. She happily obliges.

I have got free street parking one minute away from Wrigley Field. Unbelievable! Nancy and I hurry to the children where an even bigger surprise awaits. Our daughter calls excitedly, ?Dad,? she says, ?we got free tickets.?

?What?? I ask in disbelief.

She explains: ?A man asked me and Christopher if we were going to the game. I said yes and he said he was here with a big group and some people didn?t show up, so he gave me two tickets. Then I said, ?What about my mom and dad??

?Oh, your parents are here, too?? Here you go. Two more tickets.?

Free parking and free tickets to a Cubs game! God gave me my sign.

Objectively, you might say all I got was a little affirmation one time and some freebies the next. However the fact that God graciously provided exactly what I needed just when I asked for it, that was the miracle.

Keep your ears open to nature’s faintest impulses?God is speaking to you all the time.

God is constantly trying to communicate His message of love to us?in small things, in big things, in everything. Sometimes through the busyness of life, we can often miss what He is trying to say to us, both in the moment and after. Our loving God yearns for us to come to Him in the silence of our hearts. It is there that we can truly encounter Him and begin to grow in our relationship with Him?by listening to the ?good teacher? (John 13:13). Saint Teresa of Calcutta taught: ?God speaks in the silence of our hearts.? Scripture teaches us too, that it was only after the strong wind, earthquake, and fire had disappeared that Elijah was able to hear and understand God through the ?still small voice? (1 Kings 19:9-18).
The Power that Moves Us
Recently, I went with my niece to a beach in North Wales; we wanted to fly a kite together. As the sea was going out, we unravelled the string on the sand. I threw the kite in the air as my niece set off running as fast as she could, holding the handle. The beach was partially enclosed by cliffs, so in spite of a strong wind on the waves, the kite did not stay in the air very long. She set off running again, this time even faster, and we tried again and again. After a few attempts, we realised that this wasn?t working.
I looked around and saw that to the top part of the cliffs, there was an open field and a lot of land. So together, we climbed higher. As we began to unravel the string again, the kite began to move; my niece tightly held on to the handle. Before we knew it, the kite was fully extended and flying so high. The beauty of it this time was that we were both able to really enjoy this moment together with minimal effort. The key was the wind, but the power of the soaring kite was actualized in getting to a place where the wind could really blow. The joy, laughter, fun, and love shared in that moment were priceless. Time seemed to stand still.
Learning to Fly High
Later as I prayed, these memories came back to me, and I felt I was being taught powerful lessons in faith, specifically about prayer. In life, we can try to do things with our own strength. There is something in our fallen human nature about wanting to be in control. It is like being at the steering wheel in a car. We can trust God and allow Him to guide us, or we can exercise our free will. God allows us to take hold of the wheel if and when we choose to. But as we journey with Him, we see in fact, that He desires for us to not try and do it all on our own. He doesn?t want to do it all by Himself either. God desires for us to do everything?through Him, with Him, and in Him.
The very act of praying is a gift in itself, but it requires our cooperation. It is a response to His call, but the choice to respond is ours. Saint Augustine powerfully teaches us to ?acknowledge our voice in Him and His in us? (CCC 2616). This is not just true for prayer but for everything in life.
True, Jesus sometimes allows us to labor ?all night? and ?catch nothing.? But this brings us to the realisation that it is only through His guidance that we will achieve what we desire. And infinitely more when we open our hearts to listen to Him. (Luke 5:1-11)
If we are to fly high, we need the wind of the Holy Spirit, the breath of God, which transforms and lifts us up (John 20:22). Wasn?t it the wind of the Holy Spirit that descended upon the fearful disciples in the upper room at Pentecost and transformed them into faith-filled, fearless preachers and witnesses of Christ (Acts 1-2)?
Seeking with a Whole Heart
It is essential to recognize that faith is a gift that we must hold on tight to (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). Otherwise, we can become tangled up in difficult situations in the world that, without His grace, can be impossible for us to be free of. We must continue to reach higher heights through the power of the Holy Spirit?to ?seek the Lord and live? (Amos 5:4, 6). Saint Paul exhorts us to ?Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you? (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
Therefore, the call is for each believer to enter deeper into prayer by creating the space for silence, removing all distractions and blocks, and then allowing the wind of the Holy Spirit to really blow and move in our lives. God Himself invites us to this encounter with the promise that He will answer: ?Call to me, and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things which you have not known.? (Jeremiah 33:3)

The cure for loneliness is right beside you!

During the ?60s the rock group Three Dog Night, had a pop-hit, One is the Loneliest Number, that addresses the pain associated with isolation. In the book of Genesis we see that Adam was living in the Garden by himself. Sure, he was given permission by God to name all the other creatures as a sign of his dominion. Nonetheless, something was lacking: he felt alone because ?there was not found a helper fit for him? (Genesis 2:20).

Unconditional

This drama of solitude is experienced by countless men and women today. But, it need not be, because the cure for this loneliness is right out there in plain sight: The Family, which Pope Francis reminds us is the ?fundamental cell of society? (Evangelium Gaudium, 66). As such, the family is where young people can see with their own eyes that the love of Christ is alive and present in the love of their Mom and Dad, who testify that unconditional love is possible.

That?s why we are not meant to live as isolated, autonomous, self-reliant individuals , but rather we are meant to enjoy ?I-Thou? relationships with other persons, which is why God said, ?It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him? (2:18). These simple words show that nothing makes a man?s heart happier than to be joined to another?s heart like his own. A heart who loves him unconditionally and tenderly and takes away his sense of being alone. These words show that God did not make us to live in isolation, which inevitably fosters gloom, sorrow, and anxiety.

He did not create us to be alone. He made men and women for happiness, to share their story and journey with another until death do them

part. Man cannot make himself happy. Woman cannot make herself happy. But, sharing their journey with someone complements them, so that they can live the awesome experience of love and to be loved, and to see their love bear fruit in children. The Psalmist puts it this way: ?Like a fruitful vine your wife within your home. Like olive plants your children around your table. Just so will they be blessed who fear the Lord? (Psalm 128:3-4).

Defending Dignity

This is God?s dream for His beloved creation: just as God is three persons sharing one divine nature, just as the Risen Christ is forever united to His Church, His mystical Body, so, too, is creation fulfilled in the loving union between a man and a woman, rejoicing in their shared journey, fruitful in their mutual self-giving.

This is the same plan which Jesus envisions for humanity. ?From the beginning of creation, ?God made them male and female?. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So, they are no longer two but one flesh? (Mark 10:6-8; cf Genesis 1:27, 2:24). And, he concludes, ?What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder? (Mark 10:9).

This last line is important because in the Creator?s original plan, there is no do-over. It is not that a man marries a woman and, if things don?t go well, he repudiates her and moves onto Plan B. No, rather, the man and woman are called to recognize each other, to complete each other, to help each other to realize their purpose and destiny.

This teaching of Jesus, grounded in the opening chapters of Genesis, is the basis of the Sacrament of Marriage, which is a divine mandate as revealed in Scripture and through the very words of the Son of God. Contrary to contemporary whims, it is not a historical or cultural construct no matter what a legislative or judicial institution says.

The teaching of Jesus is very clear and defends the dignity of marriage as a union of love between a man and a woman, which is constitutive. Anything other than this is simply not marriage. Moreover, the union of a man and woman implies fidelity. What allows the spouses to remain united in marriage is a love of mutual self-giving infused by Christ?s grace. But, the nurturing of this union takes hard work: if the spouses pursue their private interests, the promotion of one?s egoic satisfaction, then the union cannot endure.

Either spouse or both may behave in such a way that places their union in crisis. That?s why Jesus brings it back to the beginning of Creation to teach us that God blesses human love, that it is God who joins the hearts of a man and woman who love one another. He joins them in indissolubility just as He is united with His Church. That is why the Church does not tire of confirming the beauty of family as it was consigned to us by Scripture and by Tradition. At the same time, she strives to make her maternal closeness tangible and comforting to those who are experiencing relationships that are broken or continue to be difficult and painful.

God?s way of acting with His broken and often unfaithful people, teaches us that wounded love can be healed by God through mercy and forgiveness. For this reason, the Church does not lead with censure or condemnation. On the contrary, Holy Mother the Church is called to show love, charity, and mercy, in order to heal wounded and lost hearts to get them back to God?s embrace.

Let us remember that we have a great ally in the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of the Church, who helps married couples to live together authentically and renew their union, beginning with God?s original gift.

Here’s a way to let go of your worries…

With each day comes the opportunity to change our mindset and our heart. While I advocate strongly for prayer, in practice it isn?t always my default action. Like so many, I tend to worry rather than pray, letting myself get caught up in ?what ifs?. Over and over, I need to learn the lesson of changing my mindset, which in turn, changes my heart. Jesus exhorted us not to worry, and so daily I am striving to shift my worries into prayers and thus let them fly away.

Through much of 2021 I saved up to attend a popular Catholic conference. But the costs turned out to be higher than I anticipated. I had been wanting to attend this conference for years and didn?t expect that this would be the year the opportunity would open up. A dear couple who are close friends and have been influential in my life called to tell me they would be attending this year and strongly encouraged me to attend. There was something in how they spoke that told me this was the Holy Spirit nudging me. After that call I knew without a doubt that I needed to attend the conference this year. The thought of attending filled me with joy and expectation.

As the costs related to attending the conference continued to rise, I noticed myself falling into the worry trap. Instead of remembering how God has always provided, I worried about whether I would have the necessary funds in time.?

One day, I was prompted to stop worrying and instead to turn to God, the giver of all good gifts! As the worry turned to prayer, a smile settled onto my face. I remembered that God is faithful, and would make sure I had the finances to attend. ?Heavenly Father,? I prayed, ?thank You for every opportunity You have given me. Please provide for my needs for the conference. Thank You for always providing for me in Your perfect way.?

Becoming aware of my worries has turned into a light bulb moment. The light goes on and I remember to turn my worries into prayers. My mind eases, and so does my heart. I remember that my Heavenly Father has consistently provided for me in every area of my life. Why wouldn?t he provide for me in this area? Now, I strive daily, in every area of my life, to develop the habit of shifting my worries into prayers and thereby let my worries fly away.?

God provided marvelously and I was able to attend the conference. Though a snowstorm on the morning I was to leave threatened to cancel my flight, God prevailed and I arrived safely and on time. I marveled at the beautiful conference venue and my comfortable hotel room. It turned out that I had saved up more than I needed to cover my expenses! Why had I worried? God the Father did what He always does best and provided for the needs of one of His children. I?m grateful for this experience and for learning once again to turn my mind to God rather than to worry. As we change our thoughts, so we change our lives. As we turn our hearts to God instead of to negativity, we become more like Him. How less anxious would we be, and how more grateful to our Heavenly Father, if we consistently shifted our worries into prayers? How much more peaceful would life be if we let our worries fly away? Thank You, Heavenly Father, that You are only a prayer away!