How to Pray

A repeated whisper from above, numerous failed attempts?all solved by a children?s story! There is a wonderful tale by Hans Christian Andersen entitled The Steadfast Tin Soldier that I have taken immense pleasure in reading aloud to my daughter, and she, in listening to it. This one-legged tin soldier?s brief existence is marked by tribulation after tribulation. From falling from several storeys to nearly drowning to being swallowed by a fish like Jonah, the handicapped fighter comes to understand suffering quite quickly. Through it all, though, he does not hesitate, falter, or flinch. Oh, to be like the tin soldier! Discovering the Reason Literalists and pessimists might attribute his steadfastness to the fact that he is made of tin. Those who appreciate metaphor will say it is because he has a deep knowledge of his identity. He is a soldier, and soldiers do not let fear or anything, for that matter, steer them from their course. The trials wash over the tin soldier, but he remains unchanged. At times, he admits that if he were not a soldier, he would do such and such?like shed tears?but those things he did not do, for it would not be in line with who he was. In the end, he is cast into a stove where, reminiscent of Saint Joan of Arc, he is engulfed in flames. His remains are later found by the housemaid, reduced to?or one might say, transformed into?a perfectly shaped tin heart. Yes, the fires that he so resolutely endured molded him into love! Perhaps, all that is required to become steadfast is to know one's identity? The question then is, what is our identity? I am, and you are, too, a daughter (or son) of the King of the Universe. If only we know and never cease to claim this identity, we too can be steadfast on the journey toward becoming like Love Himself. If we go about our days knowing that we are princesses and princes gallivanting about our Father's castle, what would we fear? What would make us quake, turn back, or crumble? No falls or floods or flames could make us step aside from the path toward sainthood that has been so lovingly laid before us. We are beloved children of God, destined to become saints if we only stay the course. The trials will become joys because they will not pull us from our path but, if endured well, will ultimately transform us into that which we long to be! Our hope and joy can always remain, for even if all about us is hardship, we are still beloved, chosen, and made to be with the Father in Heaven for all eternity. Sorrows into Joy! When the Angel Gabriel, on his mission to receive Mary?s fiat, sees Mary's fear, he tells her: ?Do not be afraid, for you have found favor with God.? (Luke 1:30) What glorious news! And how glorious that we, too, have found favor with God! He made us, loves us, and desires for us to be with Him always. So, we, like Mary, need not be afraid, no matter what difficulty comes our way. Mary steadfastly accepted all that came her way, knowing that His Providence is perfect and that the salvation of all mankind was at hand. She stood at the foot of the Cross in the moments of her greatest suffering and remained. In the end, though Mary?s heart was pierced by many swords, she was assumed into Heaven and crowned Queen of Heaven and Earth, to be with Love forever. Her steadfastness and loving endurance through suffering paved the way to her Queenship. Yes, the sorrow of the Pieta became the glory of the Assumption. The martyrdom of so many holy men and women made them a part of the Heavenly host praising the Lord forevermore. Like our Mother and the Saints, may we accept the grace to be steadfast, standing tall amidst sorrow, flames, and all other circumstances that try to divert us from the Lord?s open arms. May we be firmly rooted in our identity as children made in the Father's image. May we, like the renowned poet Tennyson once wrote: ?Be strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield!? May we, after it all, become like Love.

Through the darkest valleys and toughest nights, Belinda heard a voice that kept calling her back. My mother walked out on us when I was around eleven. At the time, I thought that she left because she didn't want me. But in fact, after years of silently suffering through marital abuse, she couldn?t hold on anymore. As much as she wanted to save us, my father had threatened to kill her if she took us with her. It was too much to take in at such a young age, and as I was striving hard to navigate through this difficult time, my father started a cycle of abuse that would haunt me for years to come. Valleys and Hills To numb the pain of my father?s abuse and compensate for the loneliness of my mother?s abandonment, I started resorting to all kinds of ?relief? mechanisms. And at a point when I couldn?t stand the abuse anymore, I ran away with Charles, my boyfriend from school. I reconnected with my mother during this time and lived with her and her new husband for a while. At 17, I married Charles. His family had a history of incarceration, and he followed suit soon enough. I kept hanging out with the same bunch of people, and eventually, I, too, fell into crime. At 19, I got sentenced to prison for the first time?five years for aggravated assault. In prison, I felt more alone than I had ever been in my life. Everyone who was supposed to love and nurture me had abandoned me, used me, and abused me. I remember giving up, even trying to end my life. For a long time, I kept on spiraling downwards until I met Sharon and Joyce. They had given their lives to the Lord. Though I had no clue about Jesus, I thought I'd give it a try as I didn't have anything else. There, trapped inside those walls, I started a new life with Christ. Falling, Rising, Learning? About a year and a half into my sentence, I came up for parole. Somehow in my heart, I just knew I was going to make parole because I'd been living for Jesus. I felt like I was doing all the right things, so when the denial came back with a year set off, I just didn't understand. I started questioning God and was quite angry. It was at this time that I was transferred to another correctional facility. At the end of the church services, when the chaplain reached out for a handshake, I flinched and withdrew. He was a Spirit-filled man, and the Holy Spirit had shown him that I had been hurt. The next morning, he asked to see me. There in his office, as he asked about what had happened to me and how I was hurting, I opened up and shared for the first time in my life. Finally, out of prison and in private rehab, I started a job and was slowly getting a hold on my new life when I met Steven. I started going out with him, and we got pregnant. I remember being excited about it. As he wanted to make it right, we got married and started a family. That marked the beginning of probably the worst 17 years of my life, marked by his physical abuse and infidelity and the continuing influence of drugs and crime. He would even go on to hurt our kids, and this once sent me into a rage?I wanted to shoot him. At that moment, I heard these verses: ?Vengeance is mine, I will repay.? (Romans 12:19) and ?The Lord will fight for you? (Exodus 14:1), and that prompted me to let him go. Never a Criminal I was never able to be a criminal for long; God would just arrest me and try to get me back on track. In spite of His repeated efforts, I wasn't living for Him. I always kept God back, although I knew He was there. After a series of arrests and releases, I finally came home for good in 1996. I got back in touch with the Church and finally started building a true and sincere relationship with Jesus. The Church slowly became my life; I never really had that kind of a relationship with Jesus before. I just couldn't get enough of it because I started to see that it's not the things that I've done but who I am in Christ that's going to keep me on this road. But, the real conversion happened with Bridges to Life*. How can I Not? Even though I hadn?t been a participant in the program as an offender, being able to facilitate in those small groups was a blessing I hadn?t anticipated?one that would change my life in beautiful ways. When I heard other women and men share their stories, something clicked inside of me. It affirmed me that I was not the only one and encouraged me to show up time and again. I would be so tired and worn out from work, but I would walk into the prisons and just be rejuvenated because I knew that that was where I was supposed to be. Bridges to Life is about learning to forgive yourself; not only did helping others help me become whole, it also helped me heal?and I am still healing. First, it was my mother. She had cancer, and I brought her home; I looked after her for as long as she stayed until she passed away peacefully at my home. In 2005, my father?s cancer came back, and the doctors estimated he had at most six months. I brought him home too. Everybody told me not to take in this man after what he did to me. I asked: ?how can I not?? Jesus forgave me, and I feel that God would want me to do this. Had I chosen to hold on to the bitterness or hatred toward my parents for the abandonment and the abuse, I don't know if they would have given their lives to the Lord. Just looking back over my life, I see how Jesus kept pursuing me and trying to help me. I was so resistant to feeling what was new, and it was so easy to stay in what was comfortable, but I am grateful to Jesus that I was able to finally completely surrender to Him. He is my Savior, He is my rock, and He is my friend. I just cannot imagine a life without Jesus. * A faith-based program ministering to victims and offenders alike, focusing on the transforming power of God?s love and forgiveness l

Are you quick to judge others? Are you hesitant to help someone in need? Then, it?s time to reflect! It was?just?another?day for me. Returning from the market, weary from the day?s labor,?collecting?Roofus from the Synagogue school? However, something felt different?that day. The?wind?was whispering in my ear,?and even?the sky?was?more expressive than usual.?Commotion?from a crowd?in the streets confirmed for me that today, something was going to change. Then,?I saw Him?His body so disfigured that I?turned?Roofus away from this fearful sight. The poor boy?gripped my arm with all his might?he was?terrified. The?way?this man, well, what was left of Him, was being handled?must?mean he?had?done something?terrible. I could not?bear to?stand and watch,?but as?I began to leave,?I was seized by?a Roman?soldier. To my horror, they?commanded?me?to help this man to bear His heavy load.?I?knew this meant trouble. Despite?resisting,?they asked me to help Him. What a mess!?I did not want to?associate with a sinner.?How?humiliating! To carry a cross whilst all of them watched? I knew?there was?no escape,?though,?so I?asked?my?neighbor?Vanessa?to take Roofus home?because this trial would take a while. I?walked over?to?Him?filthy, bloody, and disfigured.? I wondered what he had done to deserve this.?Whatever?be it,?this punishment was way too?cruel. The bystanders?were yelling?out??blasphemer,???liar,??and??King of the Jews,??whilst others?were?spitting at him?and?abusing?him. I?had never been so humiliated and?mentally?tortured like this before. After taking only about ten to fifteen steps with him, he fell to the ground, face first.?For this trial to end, he needed?to get?up, so?I bent over to help him up. Then, in?his eyes, I saw something that?changed me. I saw?compassion and love? How could this be? No fear, no anger, no hatred?just love and sympathy. I?was taken aback,?whilst with those eyes, He looked at me and held my hand to get back up.?I could no longer hear or see the people around me.?As?I?held?the Cross?on?my one shoulder and?Him?on?my other,?I could only keep looking at Him.?I saw the?blood, the?wounds,?the spit,?the?dirt,?everything that?could no longer hide the divinity of His face.?Now?I?heard?only?the beating of His heart and His?labored?breathing?He was struggling, yet so?very,?very strong. Amid all the noise of the people screaming, abusing, and scurrying about, I felt?as?though He was speaking to me. Everything else?I had done till that point, good or bad, seemed?pointless. When?the Roman?soldiers?pulled?Him?from me?to drag Him to the place of?crucifixion, they?shoved me?aside,?and?I fell?to?the ground. He had to continue on His own. I lay there on the ground as people trampled over me.?I did not know what?to?do?next.?All I knew was that Iife?was never?going to be the same again. I could no longer hear the crowd but?only the?silence?and the sound of my heart beating. I was?reminded?of the?sound?of His?tender?heart. A few hours later, as I was about to get up to leave, the expressive sky from earlier began to speak. The ground beneath me shook! I?looked?ahead at the top of Calvary and saw Him, arms stretched and head bowed, for me. I?know?now?that?the blood?splattered on my garment?that day?belonged to?the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world.?He cleansed me with His blood. *** *** *** This is how?I?imagine Simon of Cyrene?recalling his?experience of?the day he was asked to?help?Jesus carry the Cross to Calvary.?He had probably heard very little of Jesus till that day, but I?am very sure that?he was not?the same?person after he helped the Savior carry that?Cross. This Lenten season, Simon asks us to look into ourselves: Have we been too quick to judge people? Sometimes, we?are?too?quick?to believe?what?our?instincts tell?us about?somebody. Just like Simon, we may?let our judgments?come in the way of?helping others. Simon saw Jesus?being?scourged?and assumed that He?ought to?have done something wrong.?There might have been?times?when?we?let our presumptions about a person?come in the way of?loving?them?as?Christ?called us to. Are we hesitant to help some people? Shouldn?t we see Jesus in others and reach out to help them? Jesus asks us to love?not only our friends but also?strangers and enemies. Mother Teresa,?being the?perfect example of loving strangers,?showed us how to see the face of Jesus in everyone.?Who?better to point at for an example of?loving?enemies?than Jesus Christ Himself??He loved those who?hated him and prayed for those who persecuted him.?Like Simon, we may?feel hesitant?about?reaching out to strangers?or?enemies, but?Christ?calls?us to love our brothers and sisters?just?as?He?did. He?died for their sins as much as He died for yours. Lord Jesus, thank You for giving us the example of Simon of Cyrene, who became a great witness for following Your Way. Heavenly Father, grant us the grace to become Your witnesses by reaching out to those in need.

Life seems too difficult sometimes, but if you hold on and trust, unexpected gifts can surprise you. ?Protect us from all fear and anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.? Being a lifelong Catholic, I?d recited this prayer at every Mass. Fear hasn?t been my companion for many years, though there was a time when it was. I?d come to know the ?perfect love? described in 1 John 4:18, and was helped to live in the reality of He who conquers fear. I seldom experience anxiety at this point in my life, but one morning I did feel a sense of foreboding. I couldn?t quite put my finger on the cause. Recently, tripping on a curb resulted in a hard fall, and I was still feeling discomfort in my hip and pelvis. Sharp pains resurfacing every time I lifted my arms reminded me that my shoulders still needed more time to heal. New job stresses and the sudden death of a dear friend?s son added to my angst. The state of our world alone can cause significant distress for anyone who spends much time digesting the headlines. Despite the unknown origin of my unease, I knew how to respond. Closing my eyes, I surrendered the heavy burden I was feeling. Angels Working Overtime The next day, while I was driving to a patient?s home, a tropical storm developed unexpectedly. Traffic was heavy, and despite beaming headlights and decreasing speed, visibility was obscured by pounding sheets of rain. Out of nowhere, I felt another vehicle?s impact, pushing my car into the right lane! Surprisingly calm, I steered to the emergency lane, despite a now flattened tire?s drag. A fire rescue vehicle soon pulled up; a paramedic who hopped into my car to avoid the torrential downpour inquired if I was hurt. No...I wasn?t! That seemed highly unlikely since it had only been a few days since the lingering aftereffects of my fall had ceased. I?d prayed for protection that morning before setting out, knowing what the weather predicted. Clearly, the angels had been working overtime; cushioning first my fall, then the slam from this crash. With my car now in the body shop and insurance covering the repairs, my husband Dan and I packed for our long-planned vacation. Just before we left, I was disheartened to hear that our insurer was almost certainly going to total my car! Only five years old and in pristine condition prior to the crash, its Blue Book value currently was a mere $8,150. That wasn?t good news! We intended to keep this fuel-efficient hybrid as long as it would keep running, even purchasing an extended warranty to ensure our plan. Taking a deep breath, I again acted on what I?ve learned to do in situations beyond my control: I released it to God and asked for His intervention. Unfailing Prayer Once in Salt Lake City, we secured our rental car and were soon driving through the beautiful Grand Teton National Park. Pulling into the parking garage of the hotel that evening, I uncharacteristically backed into a narrow spot. While Dan unloaded our luggage, I noticed a screw in one tire. My husband?s concern about the puncture prompted him to call various service centers. Finding none open on Sundays, we decided to take our chances driving. The next morning, we said a prayer and set out, hoping the tire would hold while driving on the narrow mountain roads in and out of Yellowstone. Fortunately, the day was uneventful. Arriving at the Hampton Inn, where Dan had made a reservation months before, our jaws dropped! Right next door was a tire repair shop! Monday morning?s quick service meant we were on the road in less than an hour! It turned out that the tire was leaking, so the repair averted a possible blowout?a blessing since we ended up driving over 1200 miles that week! My body shop, meanwhile, authorized further investigation for ?hidden damages? from the accident. If found, the cost would exceed the car?s value and definitely lead to totaling! Praying daily, I yielded the outcome and waited. Finally, I was informed that the cost of the repairs had come in just under the wire...they would fix my car after all! (A few weeks later, as I went to pick up my refurbished car, I found that the cost had indeed exceeded the Blue Book value, but my prayer was answered too!) A Spectacular Blessing Another example of God?s providential care came as we continued on our trek into Yellowstone National Park! The parking lot was jammed when we arrived. We circled aimlessly when suddenly, a spot was available near the front! We hurriedly parked and walked over to find out that the next eruption of the Old Faithful* was expected in ten minutes. With just enough time to get to the viewing area, the geyser exploded! We traced the path of the boardwalk through the various geological formations, springs, and geysers. My outdoors-loving husband busily snapped pictures, one after another! Marveling at the amazing spectacle surrounding us, I glanced at my watch...the next eruption of Old Faithful was expected soon. Sprays burst as expected into the air, this time not obscured by tourists since we were on the back side of the geyser! Feeling grateful, I thanked God for the day?s blessings?first, the tire shop?s perfect location, then the good news from the insurance company about my car, and finally, the amazing spectacle of nature. Reflecting on God?s active presence, I prayed: ?Thank you for loving us, Lord! I know You love every other person on earth just as much, but Dan connects with You so strongly in Creation, would You reveal Yourself to him once more?? Continuing to amble along, my husband?s camera battery died. Sitting while he replaced it, I heard a strange sound. I turned around to see a huge explosion. It was spectacular?the Beehive was twice as high as Old Faithful! Looking into our guidebook, we read that this geyser was one of the best, but so unpredictable that eruptions could occur from anywhere between 8 hours to up to 5 days...but, it was at the moment we were there that it happened! For sure, God was manifesting Himself to my husband just as I?d asked! Our final stop featured several geysers where a gentleman offered to take our picture. The moment he clicked the shutter, that geyser let loose! We experienced yet another unexpected gift of God?s perfect timing and blessing! As if basking in the beauty of the incredible vistas, waterfalls, mountains, lakes, and rivers wasn?t enough, we also experienced beautiful weather! Despite the prediction of rain every day, we encountered only a few brief showers and lovely temperatures day and night! I had come full circle from my recent stress and anxiety. Surrender led to an immersion in Jesus? care as well as in the awesome wonder of our Creator! That prayer I had said so many times at Mass was certainly answered! I had been protected, both from fear and serious injury, while being released from anxiety. Waiting had indeed resulted in joyful hope?.the anchor for my soul. *Old Faithful, a cone geyser in Yellowstone National Park in the US, is best-known as one of the most predictable geysers, erupting almost 20 times a day!