Evangelize

A repeated whisper from above, numerous failed attempts?all solved by a children?s story!

There is a wonderful tale by Hans Christian Andersen entitled The Steadfast Tin Soldier that I have taken immense pleasure in reading aloud to my daughter, and she, in listening to it. This one-legged tin soldier?s brief existence is marked by tribulation after tribulation. From falling from several storeys to nearly drowning to being swallowed by a fish like Jonah, the handicapped fighter comes to understand suffering quite quickly. Through it all, though, he does not hesitate, falter, or flinch. Oh, to be like the tin soldier!
Discovering the Reason
Literalists and pessimists might attribute his steadfastness to the fact that he is made of tin. Those who appreciate metaphor will say it is because he has a deep knowledge of his identity. He is a soldier, and soldiers do not let fear or anything, for that matter, steer them from their course. The trials wash over the tin soldier, but he remains unchanged. At times, he admits that if he were not a soldier, he would do such and such?like shed tears?but those things he did not do, for it would not be in line with who he was. In the end, he is cast into a stove where, reminiscent of Saint Joan of Arc, he is engulfed in flames. His remains are later found by the housemaid, reduced to?or one might say, transformed into?a perfectly shaped tin heart. Yes, the fires that he so resolutely endured molded him into love!
Perhaps, all that is required to become steadfast is to know one’s identity? The question then is, what is our identity? I am, and you are, too, a daughter (or son) of the King of the Universe. If only we know and never cease to claim this identity, we too can be steadfast on the journey toward becoming like Love Himself. If we go about our days knowing that we are princesses and princes gallivanting about our Father’s castle, what would we fear? What would make us quake, turn back, or crumble? No falls or floods or flames could make us step aside from the path toward sainthood that has been so lovingly laid before us. We are beloved children of God, destined to become saints if we only stay the course. The trials will become joys because they will not pull us from our path but, if endured well, will ultimately transform us into that which we long to be! Our hope and joy can always remain, for even if all about us is hardship, we are still beloved, chosen, and made to be with the Father in Heaven for all eternity.
Sorrows into Joy!
When the Angel Gabriel, on his mission to receive Mary?s fiat, sees Mary’s fear, he tells her: ?Do not be afraid, for you have found favor with God.? (Luke 1:30) What glorious news! And how glorious that we, too, have found favor with God! He made us, loves us, and desires for us to be with Him always. So, we, like Mary, need not be afraid, no matter what difficulty comes our way. Mary steadfastly accepted all that came her way, knowing that His Providence is perfect and that the salvation of all mankind was at hand. She stood at the foot of the Cross in the moments of her greatest suffering and remained. In the end, though Mary?s heart was pierced by many swords, she was assumed into Heaven and crowned Queen of Heaven and Earth, to be with Love forever. Her steadfastness and loving endurance through suffering paved the way to her Queenship.
Yes, the sorrow of the Pieta became the glory of the Assumption. The martyrdom of so many holy men and women made them a part of the Heavenly host praising the Lord forevermore. Like our Mother and the Saints, may we accept the grace to be steadfast, standing tall amidst sorrow, flames, and all other circumstances that try to divert us from the Lord?s open arms. May we be firmly rooted in our identity as children made in the Father’s image. May we, like the renowned poet Tennyson once wrote: ?Be strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield!? May we, after it all, become like Love.

Through the darkest valleys and toughest nights, Belinda heard a voice that kept calling her back.

My mother walked out on us when I was around eleven. At the time, I thought that she left because she didn’t want me. But in fact, after years of silently suffering through marital abuse, she couldn?t hold on anymore. As much as she wanted to save us, my father had threatened to kill her if she took us with her. It was too much to take in at such a young age, and as I was striving hard to navigate through this difficult time, my father started a cycle of abuse that would haunt me for years to come.
Valleys and Hills
To numb the pain of my father?s abuse and compensate for the loneliness of my mother?s abandonment, I started resorting to all kinds of ?relief? mechanisms. And at a point when I couldn?t stand the abuse anymore, I ran away with Charles, my boyfriend from school. I reconnected with my mother during this time and lived with her and her new husband for a while.
At 17, I married Charles. His family had a history of incarceration, and he followed suit soon enough. I kept hanging out with the same bunch of people, and eventually, I, too, fell into crime. At 19, I got sentenced to prison for the first time?five years for aggravated assault.
In prison, I felt more alone than I had ever been in my life. Everyone who was supposed to love and nurture me had abandoned me, used me, and abused me. I remember giving up, even trying to end my life. For a long time, I kept on spiraling downwards until I met Sharon and Joyce. They had given their lives to the Lord. Though I had no clue about Jesus, I thought I’d give it a try as I didn’t have anything else. There, trapped inside those walls, I started a new life with Christ.
Falling, Rising, Learning?
About a year and a half into my sentence, I came up for parole. Somehow in my heart, I just knew I was going to make parole because I’d been living for Jesus. I felt like I was doing all the right things, so when the denial came back with a year set off, I just didn’t understand. I started questioning God and was quite angry.
It was at this time that I was transferred to another correctional facility. At the end of the church services, when the chaplain reached out for a handshake, I flinched and withdrew. He was a Spirit-filled man, and the Holy Spirit had shown him that I had been hurt. The next morning, he asked to see me. There in his office, as he asked about what had happened to me and how I was hurting, I opened up and shared for the first time in my life.
Finally, out of prison and in private rehab, I started a job and was slowly getting a hold on my new life when I met Steven. I started going out with him, and we got pregnant. I remember being excited about it. As he wanted to make it right, we got married and started a family. That marked the beginning of probably the worst 17 years of my life, marked by his physical abuse and infidelity and the continuing influence of drugs and crime.
He would even go on to hurt our kids, and this once sent me into a rage?I wanted to shoot him. At that moment, I heard these verses: ?Vengeance is mine, I will repay.? (Romans 12:19) and ?The Lord will fight for you? (Exodus 14:1), and that prompted me to let him go.
Never a Criminal
I was never able to be a criminal for long; God would just arrest me and try to get me back on track. In spite of His repeated efforts, I wasn’t living for Him. I always kept God back, although I knew He was there. After a series of arrests and releases, I finally came home for good in 1996. I got back in touch with the Church and finally started building a true and sincere relationship with Jesus. The Church slowly became my life; I never really had that kind of a relationship with Jesus before.
I just couldn’t get enough of it because I started to see that it’s not the things that I’ve done but who I am in Christ that’s going to keep me on this road. But, the real conversion happened with Bridges to Life*.
How can I Not?
Even though I hadn?t been a participant in the program as an offender, being able to facilitate in those small groups was a blessing I hadn?t anticipated?one that would change my life in beautiful ways. When I heard other women and men share their stories, something clicked inside of me. It affirmed me that I was not the only one and encouraged me to show up time and again. I would be so tired and worn out from work, but I would walk into the prisons and just be rejuvenated because I knew that that was where I was supposed to be.
Bridges to Life is about learning to forgive yourself; not only did helping others help me become whole, it also helped me heal?and I am still healing.
First, it was my mother. She had cancer, and I brought her home; I looked after her for as long as she stayed until she passed away peacefully at my home. In 2005, my father?s cancer came back, and the doctors estimated he had at most six months. I brought him home too. Everybody told me not to take in this man after what he did to me. I asked: ?how can I not?? Jesus forgave me, and I feel that God would want me to do this.
Had I chosen to hold on to the bitterness or hatred toward my parents for the abandonment and the abuse, I don’t know if they would have given their lives to the Lord. Just looking back over my life, I see how Jesus kept pursuing me and trying to help me. I was so resistant to feeling what was new, and it was so easy to stay in what was comfortable, but I am grateful to Jesus that I was able to finally completely surrender to Him. He is my Savior, He is my rock, and He is my friend. I just cannot imagine a life without Jesus.

* A faith-based program ministering to victims and offenders alike, focusing on the transforming power of God?s love and forgiveness l

We all wrestle with God at one point or another, but when do we really attain peace?

Recently, a struggling friend told me: ?I do not even know what to pray for.? She wanted to pray but was growing weary of asking for something that was not coming. I immediately thought of Saint Peter Julian Eymard?s Eucharistic Way of Prayer. He invites us to model our prayer time after the four ends of the Mass: Adoration, Thanksgiving, Atonement, and Petition.
A Better Way
Prayer is more than asking, yet there are times when our needs and worries about our loved ones are so pressing that we do nothing but ask, ask, plead, and then ask some more. We might say: ?Jesus, I leave this in your hands,? but 30 seconds later, we grab it right out of His hands to explain why we need it again. We worry, fret, and lose sleep. We don?t stop asking long enough to hear what God might be trying to whisper to our weary hearts. We go around like this for a while, and God lets us. He waits for us to wear ourselves out, to realize that we are not asking Him to help us, but we are trying to tell Him how we think He needs to help us. When we grow tired of wrestling and finally surrender, we learn a better way to pray.
In his letter to the Philippians, Saint Paul instructs us on how we should approach our petitions to God: ?Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.? (4:6-7)
Combat the Lies
Why do we worry? Why do we get anxious? Because, like Saint Peter, who stopped looking at Jesus and began to sink (Matthew 14:22-33), we too lose sight of the Truth and choose to listen to the lies. At the root of every anxious thought lies a big lie?that God will not take care of me, that whatever problem worries me now is bigger than God, that God will abandon me and forget me?that I don?t have a loving Father after all.
How do we combat these lies? With the TRUTH.
?We must simplify the work of our mind by a simple and calm view of God?s truths,? reminds St. Peter Julian Eymard.
What is the truth? I like Saint Mother Teresa?s answer: ?Humility is truth.? The Catechism tells us that ?humility is the foundation of prayer.? Prayer is raising our hearts and minds to God. It is a conversation, a relationship. I can?t be in a relationship with someone I do not know. When we begin our prayer with humility, we acknowledge the truth of Who God is and of who we are. We recognize that, on our own, we are nothing but sin and misery but that God has made us his children and that in Him, we can do all things (Philippians 4:13).
It is that humility, that truth, that brings us to first adoration, then thanksgiving, then repentance, and finally to petition. It is the natural progression of one who is completely dependent on God. So when we don?t know what to say to God, let us bless Him and praise His name. Let us think of all the blessings and thank Him for all He has done for us. This will help us trust that this same God, who has always been with us, is still here today and is always for us through good times and difficult times.

Are you quick to judge others? Are you hesitant to help someone in need? Then, it?s time to reflect!

It was?just?another?day for me. Returning from the market, weary from the day?s labor,?collecting?Roofus from the Synagogue school?
However, something felt different?that day. The?wind?was whispering in my ear,?and even?the sky?was?more expressive than usual.?Commotion?from a crowd?in the streets confirmed for me that today, something was going to change.
Then,?I saw Him?His body so disfigured that I?turned?Roofus away from this fearful sight. The poor boy?gripped my arm with all his might?he was?terrified.
The?way?this man, well, what was left of Him, was being handled?must?mean he?had?done something?terrible.
I could not?bear to?stand and watch,?but as?I began to leave,?I was seized by?a Roman?soldier. To my horror, they?commanded?me?to help this man to bear His heavy load.?I?knew this meant trouble. Despite?resisting,?they asked me to help Him.
What a mess!?I did not want to?associate with a sinner.?How?humiliating! To carry a cross whilst all of them watched?
I knew?there was?no escape,?though,?so I?asked?my?neighbor?Vanessa?to take Roofus home?because this trial would take a while.
I?walked over?to?Him?filthy, bloody, and disfigured.? I wondered what he had done to deserve this.?Whatever?be it,?this punishment was way too?cruel.
The bystanders?were yelling?out??blasphemer,???liar,??and??King of the Jews,??whilst others?were?spitting at him?and?abusing?him.
I?had never been so humiliated and?mentally?tortured like this before. After taking only about ten to fifteen steps with him, he fell to the ground, face first.?For this trial to end, he needed?to get?up, so?I bent over to help him up.
Then, in?his eyes, I saw something that?changed me. I saw?compassion and love? How could this be?
No fear, no anger, no hatred?just love and sympathy. I?was taken aback,?whilst with those eyes, He looked at me and held my hand to get back up.?I could no longer hear or see the people around me.?As?I?held?the Cross?on?my one shoulder and?Him?on?my other,?I could only keep looking at Him.?I saw the?blood, the?wounds,?the spit,?the?dirt,?everything that?could no longer hide the divinity of His face.?Now?I?heard?only?the beating of His heart and His?labored?breathing?He was struggling, yet so?very,?very strong.
Amid all the noise of the people screaming, abusing, and scurrying about, I felt?as?though He was speaking to me. Everything else?I had done till that point, good or bad, seemed?pointless.

When?the Roman?soldiers?pulled?Him?from me?to drag Him to the place of?crucifixion, they?shoved me?aside,?and?I fell?to?the ground. He had to continue on His own. I lay there on the ground as people trampled over me.?I did not know what?to?do?next.?All I knew was that Iife?was never?going to be the same again.
I could no longer hear the crowd but?only the?silence?and the sound of my heart beating. I was?reminded?of the?sound?of His?tender?heart.
A few hours later, as I was about to get up to leave, the expressive sky from earlier began to speak. The ground beneath me shook! I?looked?ahead at the top of Calvary and saw Him, arms stretched and head bowed, for me.
I?know?now?that?the blood?splattered on my garment?that day?belonged to?the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world.?He cleansed me with His blood.
*** *** ***
This is how?I?imagine Simon of Cyrene?recalling his?experience of?the day he was asked to?help?Jesus carry the Cross to Calvary.?He had probably heard very little of Jesus till that day, but I?am very sure that?he was not?the same?person after he helped the Savior carry that?Cross.
This Lenten season, Simon asks us to look into ourselves:
Have we been too quick to judge people?
Sometimes, we?are?too?quick?to believe?what?our?instincts tell?us about?somebody. Just like Simon, we may?let our judgments?come in the way of?helping others. Simon saw Jesus?being?scourged?and assumed that He?ought to?have done something wrong.?There might have been?times?when?we?let our presumptions about a person?come in the way of?loving?them?as?Christ?called us to.
Are we hesitant to help some people?
Shouldn?t we see Jesus in others and reach out to help them?
Jesus asks us to love?not only our friends but also?strangers and enemies. Mother Teresa,?being the?perfect example of loving strangers,?showed us how to see the face of Jesus in everyone.?Who?better to point at for an example of?loving?enemies?than Jesus Christ Himself??He loved those who?hated him and prayed for those who persecuted him.?Like Simon, we may?feel hesitant?about?reaching out to strangers?or?enemies, but?Christ?calls?us to love our brothers and sisters?just?as?He?did. He?died for their sins as much as He died for yours.
Lord Jesus, thank You for giving us the example of Simon of Cyrene, who became a great witness for following Your Way. Heavenly Father, grant us the grace to become Your witnesses by reaching out to those in need.

Life seems too difficult sometimes, but if you hold on and trust, unexpected gifts can surprise you.

?Protect us from all fear and anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.? Being a lifelong Catholic, I?d recited this prayer at every Mass. Fear hasn?t been my companion for many years, though there was a time when it was. I?d come to know the ?perfect love? described in 1 John 4:18, and was helped to live in the reality of He who conquers fear. I seldom experience anxiety at this point in my life, but one morning I did feel a sense of foreboding. I couldn?t quite put my finger on the cause.
Recently, tripping on a curb resulted in a hard fall, and I was still feeling discomfort in my hip and pelvis. Sharp pains resurfacing every time I lifted my arms reminded me that my shoulders still needed more time to heal. New job stresses and the sudden death of a dear friend?s son added to my angst. The state of our world alone can cause significant distress for anyone who spends much time digesting the headlines. Despite the unknown origin of my unease, I knew how to respond. Closing my eyes, I surrendered the heavy burden I was feeling.
Angels Working Overtime
The next day, while I was driving to a patient?s home, a tropical storm developed unexpectedly. Traffic was heavy, and despite beaming headlights and decreasing speed, visibility was obscured by pounding sheets of rain. Out of nowhere, I felt another vehicle?s impact, pushing my car into the right lane! Surprisingly calm, I steered to the emergency lane, despite a now flattened tire?s drag. A fire rescue vehicle soon pulled up; a paramedic who hopped into my car to avoid the torrential downpour inquired if I was hurt. No…I wasn?t! That seemed highly unlikely since it had only been a few days since the lingering aftereffects of my fall had ceased. I?d prayed for protection that morning before setting out, knowing what the weather predicted. Clearly, the angels had been working overtime; cushioning first my fall, then the slam from this crash.
With my car now in the body shop and insurance covering the repairs, my husband Dan and I packed for our long-planned vacation. Just before we left, I was disheartened to hear that our insurer was almost certainly going to total my car! Only five years old and in pristine condition prior to the crash, its Blue Book value currently was a mere $8,150. That wasn?t good news! We intended to keep this fuel-efficient hybrid as long as it would keep running, even purchasing an extended warranty to ensure our plan. Taking a deep breath, I again acted on what I?ve learned to do in situations beyond my control: I released it to God and asked for His intervention.
Unfailing Prayer
Once in Salt Lake City, we secured our rental car and were soon driving through the beautiful Grand Teton National Park. Pulling into the parking garage of the hotel that evening, I uncharacteristically backed into a narrow spot. While Dan unloaded our luggage, I noticed a screw in one tire. My husband?s concern about the puncture prompted him to call various service centers. Finding none open on Sundays, we decided to take our chances driving. The next morning, we said a prayer and set out, hoping the tire would hold while driving on the narrow mountain roads in and out of Yellowstone. Fortunately, the day was uneventful. Arriving at the Hampton Inn, where Dan had made a reservation months before, our jaws dropped! Right next door was a tire repair shop! Monday morning?s quick service meant we were on the road in less than an hour! It turned out that the tire was leaking, so the repair averted a possible blowout?a blessing since we ended up driving over 1200 miles that week!
My body shop, meanwhile, authorized further investigation for ?hidden damages? from the accident. If found, the cost would exceed the car?s value and definitely lead to totaling! Praying daily, I yielded the outcome and waited. Finally, I was informed that the cost of the repairs had come in just under the wire…they would fix my car after all! (A few weeks later, as I went to pick up my refurbished car, I found that the cost had indeed exceeded the Blue Book value, but my prayer was answered too!)
A Spectacular Blessing
Another example of God?s providential care came as we continued on our trek into Yellowstone National Park! The parking lot was jammed when we arrived. We circled aimlessly when suddenly, a spot was available near the front! We hurriedly parked and walked over to find out that the next eruption of the Old Faithful* was expected in ten minutes. With just enough time to get to the viewing area, the geyser exploded! We traced the path of the boardwalk through the various geological formations, springs, and geysers. My outdoors-loving husband busily snapped pictures, one after another! Marveling at the amazing spectacle surrounding us, I glanced at my watch…the next eruption of Old Faithful was expected soon. Sprays burst as expected into the air, this time not obscured by tourists since we were on the back side of the geyser! Feeling grateful, I thanked God for the day?s blessings?first, the tire shop?s perfect location, then the good news from the insurance company about my car, and finally, the amazing spectacle of nature.
Reflecting on God?s active presence, I prayed: ?Thank you for loving us, Lord! I know You love every other person on earth just as much, but Dan connects with You so strongly in Creation, would You reveal Yourself to him once more?? Continuing to amble along, my husband?s camera battery died. Sitting while he replaced it, I heard a strange sound. I turned around to see a huge explosion. It was spectacular?the Beehive was twice as high as Old Faithful! Looking into our guidebook, we read that this geyser was one of the best, but so unpredictable that eruptions could occur from anywhere between 8 hours to up to 5 days…but, it was at the moment we were there that it happened! For sure, God was manifesting Himself to my husband just as I?d asked!
Our final stop featured several geysers where a gentleman offered to take our picture. The moment he clicked the shutter, that geyser let loose! We experienced yet another unexpected gift of God?s perfect timing and blessing! As if basking in the beauty of the incredible vistas, waterfalls, mountains, lakes, and rivers wasn?t enough, we also experienced beautiful weather! Despite the prediction of rain every day, we encountered only a few brief showers and lovely temperatures day and night!
I had come full circle from my recent stress and anxiety. Surrender led to an immersion in Jesus? care as well as in the awesome wonder of our Creator! That prayer I had said so many times at Mass was certainly answered! I had been protected, both from fear and serious injury, while being released from anxiety. Waiting had indeed resulted in joyful hope?.the anchor for my soul.
*Old Faithful, a cone geyser in Yellowstone National Park in the US, is best-known as one of the most predictable geysers, erupting almost 20 times a day!

Keep your ears open to nature’s faintest impulses?God is speaking to you all the time.

God is constantly trying to communicate His message of love to us?in small things, in big things, in everything. Sometimes through the busyness of life, we can often miss what He is trying to say to us, both in the moment and after. Our loving God yearns for us to come to Him in the silence of our hearts. It is there that we can truly encounter Him and begin to grow in our relationship with Him?by listening to the ?good teacher? (John 13:13). Saint Teresa of Calcutta taught: ?God speaks in the silence of our hearts.? Scripture teaches us too, that it was only after the strong wind, earthquake, and fire had disappeared that Elijah was able to hear and understand God through the ?still small voice? (1 Kings 19:9-18).
The Power that Moves Us
Recently, I went with my niece to a beach in North Wales; we wanted to fly a kite together. As the sea was going out, we unravelled the string on the sand. I threw the kite in the air as my niece set off running as fast as she could, holding the handle. The beach was partially enclosed by cliffs, so in spite of a strong wind on the waves, the kite did not stay in the air very long. She set off running again, this time even faster, and we tried again and again. After a few attempts, we realised that this wasn?t working.
I looked around and saw that to the top part of the cliffs, there was an open field and a lot of land. So together, we climbed higher. As we began to unravel the string again, the kite began to move; my niece tightly held on to the handle. Before we knew it, the kite was fully extended and flying so high. The beauty of it this time was that we were both able to really enjoy this moment together with minimal effort. The key was the wind, but the power of the soaring kite was actualized in getting to a place where the wind could really blow. The joy, laughter, fun, and love shared in that moment were priceless. Time seemed to stand still.
Learning to Fly High
Later as I prayed, these memories came back to me, and I felt I was being taught powerful lessons in faith, specifically about prayer. In life, we can try to do things with our own strength. There is something in our fallen human nature about wanting to be in control. It is like being at the steering wheel in a car. We can trust God and allow Him to guide us, or we can exercise our free will. God allows us to take hold of the wheel if and when we choose to. But as we journey with Him, we see in fact, that He desires for us to not try and do it all on our own. He doesn?t want to do it all by Himself either. God desires for us to do everything?through Him, with Him, and in Him.
The very act of praying is a gift in itself, but it requires our cooperation. It is a response to His call, but the choice to respond is ours. Saint Augustine powerfully teaches us to ?acknowledge our voice in Him and His in us? (CCC 2616). This is not just true for prayer but for everything in life.
True, Jesus sometimes allows us to labor ?all night? and ?catch nothing.? But this brings us to the realisation that it is only through His guidance that we will achieve what we desire. And infinitely more when we open our hearts to listen to Him. (Luke 5:1-11)
If we are to fly high, we need the wind of the Holy Spirit, the breath of God, which transforms and lifts us up (John 20:22). Wasn?t it the wind of the Holy Spirit that descended upon the fearful disciples in the upper room at Pentecost and transformed them into faith-filled, fearless preachers and witnesses of Christ (Acts 1-2)?
Seeking with a Whole Heart
It is essential to recognize that faith is a gift that we must hold on tight to (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). Otherwise, we can become tangled up in difficult situations in the world that, without His grace, can be impossible for us to be free of. We must continue to reach higher heights through the power of the Holy Spirit?to ?seek the Lord and live? (Amos 5:4, 6). Saint Paul exhorts us to ?Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you? (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
Therefore, the call is for each believer to enter deeper into prayer by creating the space for silence, removing all distractions and blocks, and then allowing the wind of the Holy Spirit to really blow and move in our lives. God Himself invites us to this encounter with the promise that He will answer: ?Call to me, and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things which you have not known.? (Jeremiah 33:3)

Judging others is easy, but often enough, we go totally wrong in our judgment about others.

I remember an old fellow who used to come to Saturday night Mass. He was much in need of a bath and clean clothes. Quite frankly, he stunk. You can’t blame those who didn’t want to be subject to this awful smell. He walked two or three miles every day around our little town, picking up trash, and lived in an old, run-down shack all by himself.
It is easy for us to judge appearances. Isn’t it? I suppose it is a natural part of being human. I don’t know how many times my judgments about a person were totally wrong. In fact, it is quite difficult, if not impossible, to look beyond appearances without God’s help.
This man, for instance, despite his odd personality, was very faithful about participating in Mass every week. One day, I decided I would sit next to him at Mass regularly. Yes, he stunk, but he was also in need of love from others. By God’s grace, the stink didn’t bother me much. During the sign of peace, I would look him in the eye, smile, and greet him with a sincere: ?Peace of Christ be with you.?
Never Miss This
When I entertain judgments about a person, I miss the opportunity that God wants to give me?an opportunity to see beyond the physical appearance and look into the person’s heart. That is what Jesus did to each person He encountered on His journey, and He continues to look beyond our yuck and look at our hearts.
I remember a time, being many years away from my Catholic faith, I sat in the Church parking lot, trying to muster enough courage to walk through the doors to attend Mass. I was so afraid that others would judge me and not welcome me back. I asked Jesus to walk in with me. Upon entering the Church, I was greeted by the Deacon, who gave me a big smile and a hug, and said: ?Welcome.? That smile and hug were what I needed to feel like I belonged and was home again.
Choosing to sit with the old man who stunk was my way of ?paying it forward.? I knew how desperately I wanted to feel welcomed, to feel that I belonged and I mattered.
Let us not hesitate to welcome each other, especially those who are difficult to be around.

Back in the 1950s, Dorothy Day, the co-founder of the Catholic Worker Movement, began to articulate a vision that was largely ratified at the Second Vatican Council. She said that the prevailing notion of a ?commandments spirituality? for the laity and a ?counsels spirituality? for the clergy was dysfunctional. She was referencing the standard view of the period that the laity were called to a kind of least common denominator life of obeying the ten commandments?that is to say, avoiding the most fundamental violations of love and justice?whereas priests and religious were called to a heroic life of following the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Lay people were ordinary players, and the clergy were spiritual athletes. To all of this, Dorothy Day said a rather emphatic no. Every baptized person, she insisted, was summoned to heroic sanctity?which is to say, the practice of both the commandments and the counsels.

As I say, Vatican II, in its doctrine on the universal call to holiness, endorsed this notion. Though the Council Fathers taught that there is a substantial difference between the manner in which clergy and laity incorporate poverty, chastity, and obedience, they clearly instructed all followers of Christ to seek real sanctity by incorporating those ideals. So, what would this look like? Let us take poverty first. Though the laity are not, at least typically, summoned to the sort of radical poverty adopted by, say, a Trappist monk, they are indeed supposed to practice a real detachment from the goods of the world, precisely for the sake of their mission on behalf of the world. Unless a lay person has interior freedom from an addiction to wealth, power, pleasure, rank, honor, etc., she cannot follow the will of God as she ought. Only when the woman at the well put down her water jug, only when she stopped seeking to quench her thirst from the water of the world?s pleasures, was she able to evangelize (John 4). Similarly, only when a baptized person today liberates himself from an addiction to money, authority, or good feelings is he ready to become the saint God wants him to be. So, poverty, in the sense of detachment, is essential to the holiness of the laity.

Chastity, the second of the evangelical counsels, is also crucial to lay spirituality. To be sure, though the way that the clergy and religious practice chastity?namely, as celibates?is unique to them, the virtue itself is just as applicable to the laity. For chastity simply means sexual uprightness or a rightly ordered sexuality. And this implies bringing one?s sexual life under the aegis of love. As Thomas Aquinas taught, love is not a feeling, but rather an act of the will, more precisely, willing the good of the other. It is the ecstatic act by which we break free from the ego, whose gravitational pull wants to draw everything to itself. Like the drive to eat and to drink, sex is a passion related to life itself, which is why it is so powerful and thus so spiritually dangerous, so liable to draw everything and everybody under its control. Notice how the Church?s teaching that sex belongs within the context of marriage is meant to hold off this negative tendency. In saying that our sexuality should be subordinated to unity (the radical devotion to one?s spouse) and procreation (the equally radical devotion to one?s children), the Church is endeavoring to bring our sex lives completely under the umbrella of love. A disordered sexuality is a deeply destabilizing force within a person, which, in time, brings him off-kilter to love.

Finally, the laity are meant to practice obedience, again not in the manner of religious, but in a manner distinctive to the lay state. This is a willingness to follow, not the voice of one?s own ego, but the higher voice of God, to listen (obedire in Latin) to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. I have spoken often before of Hans Urs von Balthasar?s distinction between the ego-drama (written, produced, directed by, and starring oneself) and the theo-drama (written, produced, and directed by God). We might say that the entire point of the spiritual life is to break free of the former so as to embrace the latter. Most of us sinners, most of the time, are preoccupied with our own wealth, success, career plans, and personal pleasure. To obey God is to break out of those soul-killing preoccupations and hear the voice of the Shepherd.

Imagine what would happen if, overnight, every Catholic commenced to live in radical detachment from the goods of the world. How dramatically politics, economics, and the culture would change for the better. Imagine what it would be like if, today, every Catholic resolved to live chastely. We would make an enormous dent in the pornography business; human trafficking would be dramatically reduced; families would be significantly strengthened; abortions would appreciably decrease. And picture what it would be like if, right now, every Catholic decided to live in obedience to the voice of God. How much of the suffering caused by self-preoccupation would be diminished!

What I am describing in this article is, once again, part of the great Vatican II teaching on the universal call to holiness. Priests and bishops are meant, the Council Fathers taught, to teach and to sanctify the laity who, in turn, are to sanctify the secular order, bringing Christ into politics, finance, entertainment, business, teaching, journalism, etc. And they do so precisely by embracing the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience.

Learning to Work and Learning to Pray

When I signed up for AP Biology last year in my 10th grade, I never imagined Biology would be difficult for me. On the first day, I felt confident and self-assured. But as the days passed, I began to fall behind. While my peers answered questions and confidently recited the concepts, I felt confused and bewildered. Day after day, I smiled, nodded my head, and pretended I knew what was going on.

The night before the first Biology test I had barely studied. I looked over a few vocabulary words and attempted to memorize a few definitions. When I looked at the first test question my head began to spin. The questions were paragraphs long and despite reading them over and over again I couldn?t comprehend them!

The next day, I got my graded test back and wasn?t surprised to see 53%. But I felt dispirited because many of my classmates had received better scores. When I checked my grades online, I noticed that my overall grade was lowered to a ?C.? I didn?t know what to do.

As months and tests went by, my grade kept fluctuating. My mom gave me the best advice: pray more and seek God?s help. From then on, prior to taking every test, I began to invoke the Holy Spirit and I truly felt that God was helping me. I knew I wasn?t alone. My test scores began to rise rapidly. I spent more time in prayer. Everyone noticed a radical change in me as I grew deeper in loving and trusting God.

Prior to taking the AP exam, I spent months studying, praying, and preparing for the exam. Knowing that this year?s exam would be online due to COVID-19, I was nervous. The test day arrived and the single aspiration on my lips was. ?I am the God who gives you success.?

As I began the exam and looked at the data, graphs, and wordy questions, I felt discouraged and overly conscious of the time I had. However, I pushed through. I felt that I did okay. Months went by. On the day the results were posted online, my brother woke up first, signed into my account, and checked my score. He then told my mom and dad about it. I had told my family not to tell me my score until I asked them.

Hours later, unable to contain himself, I let my brother tell me my score. It was unbelievable! I couldn?t believe my ears when he said I had scored a ?4? on the AP Biology exam. My classmate, who had the best grade in the class and was expected to get the highest score, got a lower score than me. How did it happen?

I know that was not through my own merit and I will always be grateful to God for this blessing in my life. Of course, I have learnt the importance of working hard and doing all the necessary study. But I?ve also learned the importance of placing my trust in God. I trust that God will always be there for me in my life to do the unbelievable, despite any obstacles I may face.

Get a whole new perspective through the eyes of the ultimate observer

Who is the observer? When I consider this question in prayer, I realise that I observe God?s love and mercy from a very interior and personal point of view when He allows me to witness His good works by acting through me. God?s witness is never clearer than in my role as a nurse. I see people every day when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable. In those moments, God whispers, can I come forward? When I surrender and give Him my yes, His Spirit moves through me to touch the people I care for: I feel my gaze soften to rest on the face of my patient, and I know that He is looking through my eyes. Suddenly, the right words are on my lips and I know that they come from Him.?

The response from my patients is unmistakable. Their faces change and there is a peace and light about them. In those moments, I believe that I become the ultimate observer of God?s supernatural love and mercy in my patients encounter with Him. These interactions with my patients have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with God carrying out His Will through me. This can only happen when I step back from myself and allow my personal relationship with God to deepen. But it doesn?t end there. He then calls me to share that relationship with others.

Where It All Began…?

When I was baptised at Pentecost last year my personal relationship as an adopted member of God?s family began. My response to God?s call was immediate and absolute. From that day forward, I became irrevocably devoted to Him. This devotion led me to understand that I can do nothing without the presence of Christ and my need for Him in my life surpassed any other need that I had. He met me where I was, totally exhausted and needing His help, and in all my imperfection and nothingness, I surrendered everything to Him. I purposefully gave Him absolute control over my life, including my marriage, friends, family, pets, career, finances?You name it, He now owns it!?

My personal prayer to Him throughout the day became not my will, but Yours Lord as I began to shed layers of my old self. As a result, God transformed me inside and out. I experienced healing from my longstanding C-PTSD and various pain related ailments. People started responding to me in positive ways. Teachers crossed my path when I needed them, my already happy marriage improved beyond imagination, negative influences gently fell away without conflict, and I felt at peace. More importantly, I felt God?s presence by my side, and I began listening for His voice.?

It has always been more natural for me to listen than speak to Our Lord and each day I sacrifice my time to contemplate the Face of Jesus and simply let His words flow over and within me. I believe that God Our Father desperately wants to have a personal relationship with each of us and He wants to share His burdens with us. He reveals this when we devote our time to Jesus.?

Part of devoting time to Jesus is surrendering our will to Him and letting Him work through us to deliver people from their afflictions. It has been said to me that associating with sinners is against their religious values, however I wonder how we expect Jesus to continue healing the afflicted if we do not make ourselves available for Him to work through us??

Changed Forever?

We don?t need to be nurses to let God touch others around us. We all have friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances that need God?s healing love. Each time we surrender to God, we are saying not my will but Yours, Lord and our spirit connects with His. This is how God meets us. We were created to live in intimacy with God, to pray without ceasing, to live in a place of worship. As we move into this way of living, we become introspective. We receive the deep unconditional love of God, and we are forever changed. We can?t go back because we are transformed as His love for us shifts from superficial head knowledge to a deep heart revelation that becomes the very core of our identity.?

At the heart of relentless love, is a lifestyle of prayer, worship, justice, and discipleship. All of this starts with surrender and dying to self: in other words, we are being crucified with Christ. Becoming the observer of God?s awesome power is firmly grounded in love. It takes place when we surrender and release the love of God, bringing restoration to people and circumstances. We love, because He loved us first, and as we release the love of God, justice flows.?

We release God?s love and become His witnesses when we feed people who are hungry, when we share our faith with people, when we prophesy, when we release the supernatural power of God to bring healing, when we live with mercy, humility, and obedience. Becoming God?s observer expresses His love to the world by allowing Him to work through us, and then people encounter Him.

?It is the little things that matter?

Our long-anticipated visit to Denali National Park in Alaska was almost upon us. We purchased tickets for the following day’s eight hour bus ride where we hoped to see the splendor of creation and an abundance of wildlife. Checking the weather forecast for our adventure, we were more than dismayed to learn precipitation was predicted to be 100% for the entire day! As disappointed as we might be, my husband and I decided it would be wise to change our plans completely, knowing there would be little chance of encountering anything but the inside of a bus on such a rainy day. Thus, it might be said that the next morning we ended up on a lark at Creamer’s Field Migratory Waterfowl Refuge in Fairbanks.?

Perfection in My Hand?

The knowledgeable volunteer docent leading our small group tour began by telling us facts about the sand hill crane, one of the species of birds which depend on the Refuge to feed and rest each fall en route to their wintering grounds to the south. We were astonished to learn that the trachea of these cranes was seven feet in length, wrapped in a convoluted fashion, much like the coils of a French horn. This design resulted in a distinct call, unique to the mother bird?s offspring, which allowed both to remain connected amid the vast throngs of cranes flying in formation each season. Just then a rush of these sleek gray birds rose up in the distance as we watched quietly.?

Tramping over the dew-laden ground, we then headed toward a tent where both volunteers and an ornithologist were busily weighing, measuring and tagging various species of birds in order to track populations over a period of years. After each bird was identified and their information recorded, it was time to release them back into the wild. As a worker handed a songbird to a member of our group, a palm-to-palm transfer was made, at which time the captured bird quickly took flight. When it was my turn, reaching out my palm, a yellow warbler was laid onto its back as my fingers cradled its small body. Unlike the two birds before, this one seemed to settle in, allowing me to stroke it?s feathers as our eyes locked.

Suddenly there was a palpable Presence, as the tenderness of the Creator in this less than three inches of perfection in my hand was evident. The tears began to flow as the refrain of a song began to play in my mind as if synchronized, ?All are welcome in this place, here in God?s amazing grace, all are welcome, all are welcome.? Time stood still, yet it could not have been more than a few seconds before I was urged to help the bird roll onto its side. That was all the encouragement needed, as the bird made its way into the sky. Trudging back to the car, silence was my companion. A sacred hush seemed the only appropriate response to this moment of grace.?

Open Arms?

The second stop on our agenda-less day was to an assortment of buildings that had been moved to Fairbanks to recreate a pioneer village. Wandering among the cabins and shops, I came upon a simple church. Opening the door, I walked past the rough-hewn plank pews toward the carved depiction of Jesus hanging from the ceiling. Hands outstretched, as if inviting those who entered to come in, the song?s lyrics lilted once again in my head. ?All are welcome in this place.? Again and again this day I had unexpectedly encountered evidence of the lavish love of the Author of life. The care with which a sandhill crane?s call was designed, linking mother and baby; the yellow warbler, able to fly and sing yet weighing less than an ounce; the open palms of caring folks that both receive to give care, then release in trust. Finally, the reminder as I looked up, of the invitation being extended through the hands offered to all who choose to enter into God?s amazing grace.?

Always, all are welcome…